Pensive Stepmum

Why I Miss the Stepmom

If someone told me several years ago that I would be missing my children's stepmom I would have told them they are freaken crazy. No way in the world could I ever miss that lady. The struggles, arguments, and disagreements were enough to make…
Stepdad reading to stepchildren

Showing Affection to Stepkids

Affection can be shown in ways other than hugs and kisses After being a stepdad for thirteen years, it didn’t feel odd at all to welcome my wife’s sixteen-year-old niece into our home. My step kids are grown and out of the house and…
Loving Couple

7 Tips to a Prosperous Marriage and 1 for Good Luck

I often wondered what it takes to have a successful marriage. I've asked people for their advice and I've heard things like, “you have to be best friends”, “don't go to bed angry”, and “respect each other”. I agree with each of…
Stepmum putting her hand out

Protect Yourself from High-Conflict Exes and their Pattern of Dysfunction

When dealing with a High-Conflict Ex (HCE), it's imperative to not get caught up in their constant complaining, negativity, and attacks. From my experience, there is a clear pattern of behavior that presents itself. Knowing this and understanding…
Woman with Hands Up

Dealing with Emotionally Abusive People

In the stepmom role, I've encountered a significant increase in dealing with emotionally abusive people. Researching these types of people has helped me to step back and see these people for who they truly are, without getting emotionally sucked…
Stepmum Screaming

“You Chose to Marry Into That.” Statements that Perpetuate the Negative Stigma of Being a Stepmom

As a stepmom, people often make assumptions and judgements about what your role should be in your stepfamily life. Most of these people haven’t walked in your shoes and don’t understand the many complexities of the stepmom role.…
Shutting Ex-Wife Out

Six Steps for Setting Boundaries with Your Partner’s High-Conflict Ex

During the first couple years of marriage to my husband, he was extremely reluctant to set boundaries or even noticed the need for them. I, on the other hand, was ready to explode with all the inappropriate behavior from his high-conflict ex…
Pensive Stepmum

Five Stepmom Truths for His High-Conflict Ex

When it came the time to meet his ex I suspect we were all a bit apprehensive. She was the one before us and at one time your partner loved this woman. They will forever be a part of each other's lives as they share children, future grandchildren,…
Loving Couple

The Couple Comes First

I once read a stepmom article on ways to gel as a stepfamily. I thought it was great and agreed with all of it except for one thing: the article stated not to put your marriage first. Of course, there is a time and place for putting children…
Pensive Stepmum

Stepping Above the Drama of His Ex-Wife

Being a stepmom in a newly blended family has been the hardest task of my life. For me, the most challenging part has been learning how to deal with my husband’s ex and controlling my feelings towards her actions. BuI don’t have a feel-good…
Happy Couple

7 Qualities That Will Transition You From a Boundaryless to a Peaceful and Happy Marriage

When I divorced my ex I knew I wanted to remarry. I desired companionship and closeness with another individual. But, I had certain “qualifications” that I was looking for in a new partner. One “qualification” was that he…
Stepmum and Stepchild

Why It’s OK To Love Your Stepchildren Like Your Own ― And What That Really Means

As I started off my role as a stepmom, I would hear people say, “You can’t possibly love your step-kids as your own. It’s not the same.” At the beginning of my stepmom journey, I would say that I agreed with that statement. I…