116. The Loyalty Bind in Blended Families: Why Kids Feel Torn Between Mom and Stepmom with Barb Goldberg
What if your stepchild isn’t rejecting you… but protecting someone else?
In this episode, I’m sitting down with the incredible Barb Goldberg: coach, author, podcaster, and stepmom to talk about one of the most misunderstood (and painful) dynamics in blended families: the loyalty bind.
If you’ve ever felt hurt, dismissed, or completely invisible as a stepmom, this conversation is for you. Because when kids feel torn between mom and stepmom, it can show up as distance, attitude, silence, or even outright rejection – and it’s easy to take that personally.
But often? It’s not about you.
In This Episode, We Talk About:
- What the loyalty bind in blended families actually is – and how it quietly shapes your relationship with your stepkids
- Why the teenage brain reacts from emotion and survival (and why kids often don’t even remember the hurtful things they say)
- How stepmoms get stuck in emotional trigger loops – and how to calm your nervous system and break the cycle
- Why stepmotherhood is a long game – and how kids often grow up, gain perspective, and sometimes even come back around
We also talk honestly about the things stepmoms don’t always say out loud – the crying in closets, the normalization of disrespect, and the cultural pressure to “just love them like your own.”
This episode offers compassion for kids navigating divorce and blended family dynamics – but it also offers deep validation for stepmoms who are carrying emotional burnout in silence.
Resources Mentioned:
- The Evil Stepmother Speaks is a compassionate and empowering resource for stepmothers navigating the complex world of blended families with Barb Goldberg.
- Follow Barb on Instagram & Facebook
- Stepfamily Circle Membership – A supportive community for stepmoms who want help navigating conversations with stepkids, partners, and exes – without losing themselves in the process. Inside, you’ll find coaching, real-life examples, and space to practice these conversations so you’re not guessing anymore.
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