Tag Archive for: marriage

Couple Holding Hands

A Stepmom’s Guide to Being a Supportive Partner

It is easy to be a loving, supportive and kind partner when you are comfortable with how things are going. It’s easy to feel safe and secure when your partner is making parenting decisions that are in alignment with your values.…
Pensive Stepmum

The Metaphor That Changed My Entire Perspective on the Stepmom Role

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I was in a really bad place. The slightest mention of the family he had before me sent me into turmoil and agony. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t come first. Why I couldn’t be his only. I loved his daughter, and logically, I understood…
Pensive Stepmum

Lessons Learned When I Embraced My Role as Second Wife

Coming into my role as a second wife to the love of my life was no easy feat. It’s as if everywhere I turned there was another reminder of his former life, of the woman he loved before me. It was inescapable, perpetual torture. I wanted…
Couple Hugging

What Every Second Wife Needs to Hear

The most romantic statement Gabe ever made to me didn’t happen on our wedding day. He didn’t declare it at the base of the Eiffel Tower, or pen it in a greeting card. The sentence caught me by surprise as we were out to dinner on a rare…
Loving Couple

7 Tips to a Prosperous Marriage and 1 for Good Luck

I often wondered what it takes to have a successful marriage. I've asked people for their advice and I've heard things like, “you have to be best friends”, “don't go to bed angry”, and “respect each other”. I agree with each of…
Stepmum putting her hand out

Protect Yourself from High-Conflict Exes and their Pattern of Dysfunction

When dealing with a High-Conflict Ex (HCE), it's imperative to not get caught up in their constant complaining, negativity, and attacks. From my experience, there is a clear pattern of behavior that presents itself. Knowing this and understanding…
Couple Holding Hands

Missing the Firsts but Saving the Best for Last

I used to be bothered by the fact, that I missed out on all of my husband's firsts. I couldn't be his first wedding, first marriage, first wife; we didn’t buy our first house together, nor have our first babies together. A mindset shift…
Shutting Ex-Wife Out

Six Steps for Setting Boundaries with Your Partner’s High-Conflict Ex

During the first couple years of marriage to my husband, he was extremely reluctant to set boundaries or even noticed the need for them. I, on the other hand, was ready to explode with all the inappropriate behavior from his high-conflict ex…
Pensive Stepmum

Five Stepmom Truths for His High-Conflict Ex

When it came the time to meet his ex I suspect we were all a bit apprehensive. She was the one before us and at one time your partner loved this woman. They will forever be a part of each other's lives as they share children, future grandchildren,…
Loving Couple

The Couple Comes First

I once read a stepmom article on ways to gel as a stepfamily. I thought it was great and agreed with all of it except for one thing: the article stated not to put your marriage first. Of course, there is a time and place for putting children…
Pensive Stepmum

The Stepmom Who Wanted to Leave…But Stayed

When I married my husband I anticipated a wonderful marriage full of love and devotion but what I didn’t expect was feeling like I had made the biggest mistake of my life. I left my perfectly happy single life and never anticipated the heaviness…
Happy Couple

7 Qualities That Will Transition You From a Boundaryless to a Peaceful and Happy Marriage

When I divorced my ex I knew I wanted to remarry. I desired companionship and closeness with another individual. But, I had certain “qualifications” that I was looking for in a new partner. One “qualification” was that he…
Stepmum Friends

Stepmoms Are Not Most Women

My husband and I just celebrated our wedding anniversary.  Our marriage has been challenging due to his ex and her instabilities, which inevitably trickle down to us. Nevertheless, each year we like to reflect on the past year…